Athazagoraphobia:
Fear of beingforgotten.

she doesn't know who she is anymore
she can only think about him these days
she doesn't have a clue what he's doing,
but it's hurting her horribly & it won't go away.

and it's alright, yeah, i'll be fine
don't worry about this heart of mine
just, take your love and hit the road
there's nothing you can do or say
you're gonna break my heart anyway
so just leave the pieces when you go
 -the wreckers.

we fall like shooting stars & autumn leaves,
stay up later than the street lights
p r o m i s i ng  what could never be ;;
i could never be anything without you.

you are every reason, every hope and
every dream that i've ever had and no matter
what happens to us in the future every day
spent with you was the best day of my life.
-the notebook.

I still remember our first kiss.
It was awkward at the beginning & my stomach had butterflies.Your lips were so soft against mine.I'll never forget it.

hmm so its only been about 3 months.

well im just at home being a loser on a tuesday summer night....gosh i neeed a new life....

i need you like a bad habit

Anything less than real, passionate, extraordinary love is a waste of time. There are too many dull things in life & love should not be one of them.

work like you don't need the money.
love like you've never been hurt.
dance like nobody's watching.
sing like nobody's listening.
live like it's heaven on earth

The days are getting warmer. Summer is getting nearer.
I find myself lost in this song, and even more lost in your eyes.

Worrying is a waste of time. It doesn't change anything, it just messes with your mind and steals your happiness.

Don't worry about me,
my heart's not broken anymore.
You should be worrying about yourself.
Because as far as I can see, you're
still an asshole.

i myself am made entirely of flaws
stitched together with good intentions

"tous mes sourires vous diront de lui."
all of my smiles will tell you about him.

we almost laughed harder than we kissed;
you were always something i could never resist

Summer is not only a season,
it's a state of mind.

Summer.
Where the night belongs to
lust and lovers.

Have you ever looked at a picture & seen a stranger in the background. It makes you wonder, how many strangers have pictures of you? How many moments of other peoples lives have we been in? Were we a part of someone’s life when their dream came true? Or were we there when their dreams died. Did we keep trying to get in, as if we were somehow destined to be there? Or did the shot take us by surprise. Just think, you could be a big part of someone’s life, & not even know it.

People say hate is a strong word, but so is love.
And people throw it around like it's nothing

To her classmates she's...
a quiet girl with a huge smile
To her friends she's...
a funny/outgoing girl who always makes them laugh
To her best friend she's...
a dreamer head over heels with a guy that doesn't know
To the guy that loves her she's...
the amazing girl who makes him believe in perfection
and To her she's...
the only girl who will never know.

Just another rejection

So its gunna be another one of those deep blogs....

The other night I spent the whole time sitting on my coach feeling like I was dying...what a way to spend your spring break right?  Well while I was sitting there the phone rang adn it just so happened to be the phone call I've been despretly hoping for for days.  But before I even answered the phone I knew that it was bad news to come...thanks to girls...we talk alot...so I kinda knew what was happening...but I just didnt want to believe it. 

The phone conversation started out with small talk like usual.  But I couldnt take it...I just had to know...I asked him what was going to happen to us...even tho I already knew every single word he'd say.  He told me that he had sent me a message earlier explaining it all...adn this is how it went....

"hey listen i like you i like you alot your amazing. But you got to understand me right now my life is more fucked up now then ever its about to get me. i dnt want u to be mad at me or think that i dnt like you cause thats not the case i do want to hang out w you but theres no way that my life could alow any realtionship right now with anybody and you livin in jeff dosent help at all dnt give up on me but dnt get mad when i dnt call you all the time ill call you today"

Another rejection...just what I needed.  I really thought this boy would be the one...the one that I could love...but I guess I cant give up on him yet...I just gotta wait.  But am I suppose to wait for this boy?  I guess I'll try...but if someone comes along that is worth....I guess I'll justh ave to give up on him.  I just dont want to think about that tho.  Every time spent with that kid...was awesome...I felt so happy...and just lying in his arms felt so right....but I guess its not right for right now.  The best things in life come to those who wait, right?

But right after I got off the phone with him...I balled...just everything that has been happening just got to me. 

Well the next day is a happy story...I got up and felt a hundred times better.  Right then ...I decided that I'm never going to let anything get to me like that again.  No boys, no friends, no one...no one will ever make me hate my liife.  No one is going to ruin this spring break for me....not even being sick....I'm a stronge girl...and I'm just gunna move on...adn get over it.  If that boy comes to his senses...I'll for sure give him a second chance...cause I cant really blame him...his reasons are prettty good...the kids life is shit right now.  I just hope things get better soon...cause I already miss him...but like I said...I'm not gunna let it get to me.  I'm gonig to have a shit load of fun.   I PROMISE

be stronge
and ignore all the whispers
believe what you think
and nothing else
be you
and no one else

It's like these boys
get me so high
with false hopes
and have no intention
to catch me
when I fall

(me!)

I'll get back to you guys later....how bout some icons now?

I think I'm just gunna write..

So for so long this has just been an icon adn sometimes quote site.  But today...i decided that I'm just gunna write down some thoughts that I have in my head right now....not that anyone is probably going to read it...but oh well...i just gotta get some things out of my head...adn why not tell everyone on xanga?

So pretty much my whole life....I've been single.  Everytime I tell someone this they are so suprised....I mean I've had like those middle school relationships years ago...but I don't count those 2 week long relationships were we passed notes to eachother in the halls adn hung out at baseball games.  I'm know 17 and a junior in highschool and everywhere I look I see so many teenagers just like me in love. It just kills me to see it cause I want it so bad.

Everytime I meet a guy they always ask why I don't have a bf.  And everytime I wish I could answer....but I don't know why.  Eventually the guy finds the reason and leaves me before I get to know why I wasn't worth sticking with.  After each rejection I have I lay in bed adn just try adn think...go over everything....looking for answers to what all went wrong...but I just don't know.  What is it?  I'm told all the time I'm a pretty girl, nice, sweet, funny....idk....i just dont know and it kills me......theres nothing in the world that I want more than to have someone mean that much to me and me mean that much to someone.  But each time I found my prince charming...its not too long before hes riding off into the sunset....without me.

It's so sad that I can long for just this one silly feeling that hurts so many people.  I've heard people that have had their broken hearts tell not to waste time with love...but the way I look at it..I'll handle the pain..but I just want that feeling....because I KNOW how it is to be alone...and a person can only stand having this horrible feeling for too long.  I just cant take it ....i need someone to go to...some one to care for....I just want someone to be...not my life...but just .....a big part....and my favorite part.

I'm sorry but this is kinda boring...but if i write again...ill try to make it more interresting...i promise.

muah!!!

with love,

me

SO I'M BACK ONCE MORE....I KNOW YOU GUYS MISSED ME! LEAVE ME COMMENTS TO TELL ME JUST HOW MUCH. I KNOW I'VE MISSED YOU GUYS!!! SO COMMENTS LOVERS

I NEED THEM SUPER BAD!!! IF I DONT GET ANY...I'LL ....BE SUPER MAD!

every sixty seconds spent
sad is a minute of happiness
that you'll never get back

f o r e v e r  y o u n g
i wanna be forever young <3

You've got 3 choices in life:
give up, give in, or
[ give it your all ]

Optimism means expecting the best,
but confidence means knowing how to handle.

a girl worth kissing is not easily kissed.

For beautiful eyes,
look for the good in others;
For beautiful lips,
speak only words of kindness;
& for poise, walk with the knowledge
that you are never alone
-Audrey Hepburn

wanna talk about me?

i got some advice

CLICK YOUR HEELS THREE TIMES

AND SAY I WISH I HAD A LIFE

It`s better to cross the line &
suffer the consequences
than to just stare at that line
for the rest of your life.